I’m about to get real personal right now because this full moon got having the damn feels…
I’m sad… Not because I’m getting a divorce anymore… Not because I was cheated on, or belittled, but because I’m different now.
What made me, ME before, isn’t what makes me now… I was open, optimistic, and and undamaged. Today, I’m resentful, bitter and so beyond damaged that I wouldn’t even make it to the clearance shelf.
People have always told me to not let anyone change who I am, but when you give a piece of your soul to someone, a piece of YOU, to someone, it’s impossible to not give them that power to change you.
I thought after I mourned the loss of my “relationship”, I would feel better, even just a little bit, but I don’t, because I’m still mourning… I think a lot about how I use to think before, how I felt before, and how I lived before and it’s not easy to realize how much a person changed you for the worst…
I hate the way I am. I hate that I don’t look at love the same way that I use to. I hate that I’m so resentful. I hate that I have no trust anymore. I pretty much hate this me that I am right now.
Time to heal.