It’s honestly scary how another human can change you

I’m about to get real personal right now because this full moon got having the damn feels…

I’m sad… Not because I’m getting a divorce anymore… Not because I was cheated on, or belittled, but because I’m different now.

What made me, ME before, isn’t what makes me now… I was open, optimistic, and and undamaged. Today, I’m resentful, bitter and so beyond damaged that I wouldn’t even make it to the clearance shelf.

People have always told me to not let anyone change who I am, but when you give a piece of your soul to someone, a piece of YOU, to someone, it’s impossible to not give them that power to change you.

I thought after I mourned the loss of my “relationship”, I would feel better, even just a little bit, but I don’t, because I’m still mourning… I think a lot about how I use to think before, how I felt before, and how I lived before and it’s not easy to realize how much a person changed you for the worst…

I hate the way I am. I hate that I don’t look at love the same way that I use to. I hate that I’m so resentful. I hate that I have no trust anymore. I pretty much hate this me that I am right now.

Time to heal.

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